Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Rumor has it

It's true.  Sometimes I frequent the smoke shop.  Perhaps you've seen my car there.  Perhaps you've judged me under your breath.

What if I said I was buying for a friend?  Would you tell me I was wrong and that I was condoning her "sin"?
What if I told you she was dying of a terrible disease that would, sooner than later, land her in a nursing home at the age of 46 and smoking is one of the only things she enjoys?

What if I told you I think Jesus wanted me to buy her cigarettes?    Would you challenge my theology or question what Jesus I served?

Whether that's true or not isn't even the point.  The fact is that we can get so caught up in being right that we often render ourselves incapable of loving others.  And when it comes to others -loving them is the most important thing.

What if I said I know she sees more of Jesus when I show up and love her right where she is ?

a simple challenge:
Are people seeing Jesus in you by your actions towards others ?  or are you too concerned about their sin and smelling like smoke that you can't get out of your comfort zone and into their life?  

Loving others is the only way they will ever see Jesus through you.

Trust me when I tell you smoke shops and smelling like smoke are both way out of my comfort zone.

I just wanna be more like him.....

For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.  John 3:17


Monday, April 1, 2013

What life looks like on a "waitlist"

We've been on a "waitlist" for 2 years and 2 months.  We started this adoption journey at #97 on January 19, 2011.  

Our March 2013 # is 10.  

Most days on the waitlist look like ordinary everyday living (with the exception of the days we have had to update expired paperwork, there is nothing ordinary about that).  We have ballgames to attend, coach and play in.  We have laundry and dishes and sibling disagreements-  The things that go on in most families.   In the past 2 years we've experienced heartache and blessings.  We've done all kinds of things to prepare for adoption.  We've acquainted ourselves with other adoptive parents.  We've attended attachment training.  We've read lots information about what we can expect.  

My favorite days are those precious days we dream as a family and talk about what we think our daughter and sister will be like, and talk about how we will fix her hair and things we will teach her.  

Then there are those days as a mother I quietly ache for her and cry for the loss and heartache she will go through to be part of our family.  I hope she will accept us as her own.  I hope I can love her the way she wants to be loved.  I pray I will have the strength to hold my little family together when it gets tough.  This is when I realize the things that make a God-sized dream God sized.

At # 10 - the end is in sight.  I feel as if I found out Im for sure pregnant I just am not sure how far along I am 2 months or 9 months.  These differences are extreme I know but there must be a balance between being prepared and surviving a long wait.  

I personally hope the days in the very near future look anything but ordinary.   I'm ready to get the call that there is a baby in Africa waiting on us.  

God size dreamers are inspiring.  Follow your own God size Dream and join others here to be encouraged.  

Monday, March 11, 2013

Hey Dreamer

Hey Dreamer,

This is for you.......

When I think about your dreams and mine I often get teary eyed.  It so amazing to watch God work out such intricate details of the dreams He has placed in our hearts.  I love to see Him show up and love us so deeply.

But often I get busy and forget.  Forget to dream and even forget the passion.  I get caught up in this daily grind of life.   Is that you too?  If I not looking and expecting I miss it.   But with one little yes I am moving again.  He is the wind behind my sails, and when I see Him working I get encouraged.

Will you be encouraged with me?????  In this road of adoption it is easy for me to get discouraged and believe it isn't going to happen.  But He has promised and He is faithful.  and today I'm excited!  I feel joy in being on the path He has chosen for our family.  He is growing and changing us daily to live out the dream.

books-and-more.jpgThese are some of my favorite quotes from Holley Gerth's You’re Made for a God-sized Dream: Opening the Door to All God Has for You :

Every dream or desire you have that comes from God is and invitation for more intimacy with Him. 

You have been entrusted with certain ways of making a difference in the world and it's up to you to make the most of them during your time on Earth.  

Our role is obedience. God's role is results

He has already given you all you need and made you all you need to be.   

Don't those quotes just encourage the socks off of you!!!!!   The timing of this book in my life is nothing short of a God love note.

God has great plans for you dreamer!!!! Don't sit back and miss it!

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

My Heart for the Orphan

I mentioned in my last post I felt like God is leading me to something more after our Addi May comes home. 

I can tell you since beginning our journey to Addi, God has used it to open my eyes to the orphan around the world.  

It began when my BFF went to Ethiopia with our adoption agency to work with orphans(I couldn't go).  As she was leaving she told me she learned they were also taking a trip to Haiti at the end of the summer and I should go.  And like any good friend does , I listened and went.  and these babes stole my heart.......
Then it happened... as I looked across at the kids playing in the courtyard I suddenly imagined these two (my boys) there in the orphanage without a mommy, without me to tuck them in bed and tell them they are loved and are special and are valuable.  It was that moment when my heart recognized what it meant to be an "orphan".  Food and shelter and education and loving caregivers do not equal a family. 

and my heart broke..............forever changed

I do not know exactly where this "dream" is headed yet. For now it involves sponsoring and praying for this sweet girl.... 

and I know that this blog is a small step in that direction for advocating for the orphan. 

I've been blessed beyond measure that God has given me a best friend to share the journey with. Our hearts are intertwined with the mission of fighting for the least of these.
Me &Teryia in Haiti Jan 2012

I love this quote in the God-sized dream series
"We were never meant to be lone-dreamers. You need a God-sized posse, a small gang, and someone to dream crazy dreams with. We were never meant to walk this journey alone. When we lock hearts with one another and dream God-dreams we are a force to be reckoned with! "— Jennifer Watson, Today’s Guest Poster

Want encouragement ?  join myself and other God-size Dreamers @

and Join me in working through 
The “Do What You Can” Plan: 21 Days to Making Any Area of Your Life Better



Tuesday, January 8, 2013

What happens when your in the middle of living a God-Sized Dream

I've said from the beginning that this entire Adoption process is a God thing.  If it wasn't there would be no way we could do it.  

Recently I linked up with Holley Gerth and some really amazing God Sized Dreamers {} to encourage one another for living out our God-Size Dreams.  

I'm a planner, list maker, goal writer, dreamer, activity seeker, purpose driven kind of gal, if you get my drift.  So this whole dreaming "together" thing was right up my alley.

As I've worked through some of the projects and challenges{following the guide The “Do What You Can” Plan: 21 Days to Making Any Area of Your Life Better by Holley Gerth} I recognized this thing called adoption is my God-Sized Dream.

I'm not sure when He began to stir my heart toward adoption.

Maybe it was here on this trip to Mexico, where as a young, newly married 22 year old I left this orphanage wishing I could take this little darling home to be mine forever. 

I'm here now 16 years later.....waiting for a little girl on the other side of the world that God has chosen for me to be her mommy.  

Is comfortable ? No way! 
Is it easy? Ha! 
Has it been smooth?  Never count on it!
Have I doubted?  to many times to number
Has it happened in my timing?  Never! (Thats another blog post entirely)

Is it destined to Bring Him Glory? YES
Is it amazing? YES
Is it Life changing ? YES

Seeing God's hand all over our lives.........Priceless

So what are some things God has called you to do?  Have you been too scared?  Have you avoided it so much you've forgotten the dream that used to make you giddy to think about?

Join me here:  Give God a chance to rekindle the spark that used to burn in your heart before life got in the way.

Sometime in the next week Im gonna share~ Part two of my God-Sized Dream: Where God is leading me to in our life after adoption.


Thursday, December 13, 2012


It's Christmas time and your not home tonight I pray that God will come and hold you in His arms and tell you from my heart , I wish you Merry Christmas.

Dreaming of the day when I can finally call you mine.......

Believing this will be our last Christmas without you in our arms Addi May

Monday, November 12, 2012

I've loved her for a thousand years

Last weekend was Orphan Sunday.  Significant to some, maybe most didn't even know. 
For our family it was the beginning of this journey we are on ......
Orphan Sunday November, 2009 to be exact .  Lloyd and I watched a live simalcast hosted by ShowHope.  This is when the seed God had planted in our hearts many years before began to sprout.  

The rest of the timeline goes like this:
January 2010- A discussion over dinner at confirms we both are "100%" sure about this thing called "adoption", something at the time we really knew nothing about
April 2010 - "let's start", I research, I request packets, we explore options
We found the agency we felt had the most reputable presence in the adoption community.  We looked at countries that met our "hopes" for our daughter.....then it happened
Bulgaria ....estimated 10,000 orphans
Ukraine....estimated 100,000 orphans
                                    but  Ethiopia........ 4.3 MILLION.  
That was all it took for God to open our eyes to something so much bigger than our desire for a daughter.
May 2010- We began the application process to adopt our daughter from Ethiopia
July 2010- We will call her "Addi May"
Sept 2010 - We are officially accepted into the Ethiopia program with All God's Children
Dec 31,2010 - our dossier is received 
Jan 17,2011 We are number  #97 for a girl 0-2
So the wait begins, Here is a little taste of the process:
May 2011-#70
Nov 2011-#48
March 2012-#35
May 2012-#34
August 2012-#21
October 2012-# 19

This process is nothing like anything else.  It's like I've been pregnant now for 22 months.  It's difficult to create a balance of preparation and anticipation for something so life changing, and yet continue to live and enjoy the day we are in at this very moment.

I seriously feel like I've loved her for a thousand years

Because sometimes in the waiting for what we long for, we praise God long when the gift comes at long last. Sometimes God has his people wait long, so our gratitude becomes deeper and wider.” – Ann Voskamp, The Jesse Tree Journey